I consider myself to be a pretty nice person. I always hold the door open for people, I smile when I pass people on the street, I always let folks in when trying to merge on the freeway. Heck, I never even had a single detention in high school. I’m a total delight and a completely perfect angel.
Up until recently, that included when I play video games.
Skyrim? Esteemed hero. Mass Effect? Paragon. Red Dead Redemption 2? High honor. I can’t even choose a mean dialogue option when talking to an NPC. What if I hurt their feelings? I would become sick! Even in games where I don’t have a dialogue choice, if my character says something mean, my heart breaks. So, pretty much every time Kratos was mean to Brock or Sindri in God of War (2018), I had to steel myself.
So naturally, when I played Baldur’s Gate 3 for the first time (and every subsequent time thereafter), every character was a noble and just hero who always saved the city and destroyed the evil pseudo-god and their mind flayer minions. Until I very carelessly promised to do an evil run of the game as an incentive during a stream fundraiser, confident it was a goal that would never be hit.
Of course, it was hit almost as soon as the words were out of my mouth. And I was immediately filled with regret. But, I am a woman of my word, and committed to an Evil Dark Urge run.
And so, the Tiefling Fighter Frederick was born.
Frederick has a mean streak. It’s bad enough being the child of a murder hobo god, but having a mindflayer worm in your head is also plenty of reason to have an attitude. That is what I kept telling myself as I marched towards the Druids Grove, and proceeded to act like a certified asshole to every NPC I talked to. Demanding money for unrequested heroics, insulting old ladies, bullying small children. I don’t even like kids, but seeing a kid’s eyes well up with tears when I call him a useless whelp is enough to make me want to curl into a ball and hide under a rock.
To make matters even worse, this evil run will result in the two more horrendous and unspeakable actions: the deaths of Karlach, my favorite barbarian mommy, and Halsin, my big druid bear daddy. Having to not only play through the game without two of my favorite characters, but having to play a part in their murders has made me physically ill.
In fact, when I confronted Karlach, with Wyll in tow, and raised my weapon to strike her down, I felt every muscle and neuron in my body screaming in revolt. This was the gravest of sins, and having to hear her death cry as she fell under my sword was enough to destroy me.
“How do people enjoy this!?” I yelled aloud as I fought back tears. I wanted to seek out Samantha Béart, the actor who played Karlach in the game, and personally apologize to them for my despicable acts. Or rather, for Frederick’s despicable acts.
The only bright spot so far in this run is that everyone’s favorite vampire rogue, Astarion, approves of literally everything I do. But knowing that I’m going to have to let him commit the most heinous acts so that he can ascend to vampire godhood is also making me sick to my stomach. Every step forward in this run feels like an existential crisis.
Not for Frederick, though. Frederick is having the time of his sadistic little life. Frederick is embracing his best self with the piles of corpses in his wake. Frederick is more than ready to take on the mantle of godhood and subjugate the Sword Coast to his machinations, one insulting dialogue option at a time.
You probably think this has some sort of moral or lesson learned. The only lesson I’ve gleaned from any of this so far is that I really am a giant weenie. Having to insult Gale and make fun of his problems, or pry into Lae’Zel’s private thoughts, or trick a child into getting bitten by a poisonous snake, is making my little goody-two-shoes heart get shredded into a billion pieces. My only solace is knowing that all the really terrible people in this game still get to die, and I get to make their deaths very colorful and elaborate. I guess that’s a small joy.
And as evil as Frederick is, don’t worry. He would never hurt Scratch. Scratch will be at his side while he rules the world (and while I sob in a corner).
For more gaming stories we won’t forget (even though we may want to), keep an eye out on future GameObserver features!
